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Heart/Mind

I don’t like how the human mind and the human heart always fail to agree on almost every issue, similarly I don’t like the way faith and logic are always at logger heads with one another. When will all these start believing in the same things together? When will they stop giving us heartaches and headaches altogether?

My emotions have been going on a ride really often these days. It’s all starting to take its toll on me, and I am so tired. I am only seventeen. I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to go through this emotional wreckage day in and day out as if it is part of my daily life. I hate teen-angst post, and I think I am starting to hate this particular one soon.

Despite all that unhappiness brewing in my heart, I am still thankful to God who so conveniently allowed this new friend to enter into my life this year. It’s nice to know that there’s this someone out there who has been through quite a bit of things like you did and the number of “yes yes yes!” you have to exclaim in just one simple conversation because you found so many similarities that you never used to believe you two had. I hope the friendship will continue to flourish with time.

I hope the activities mentioned with my respective friends will come to pass quickly. I am in desperate need to have some fun.

Solitude

I went out alone today reason being, I wasn’t in any mood to ask anyone out. I completed whatever that I wanted to do today, and I am feeling quite proud of myself right now. I sent out all my items (not the ones on sat), met up with my buyers and sellers to hand them the things, finished reading my book at a quiet cafe, and most importantly, watch a movie, alone.

Pardon me if you have done it a million times. This is an entirely new experience to me and I would like to write it down for memory’s sake.

I have long wanted to watch a movie on my own, but I always can’t seem to muster enough confidence to do so. Yet I have seen people who could walk into the cinema fearlessly, without their pool of friends surrounding them.

So, I really don’t know what went through my mind when I walked straight up to Cine, took the escalator to level 6, and bought a ticket for a show starting in about 5 minutes time. I just simply… wanted to watch a movie.

Frankly speaking, I won’t say that I enjoyed it tremendously. After all, who would mind having friends around to laugh and cry with you? I should say that it’s an remarkable experience. I might just do it again when the solitary mood strikes, but I don’t think it’ll be anytime soon.

There’s just this something that is intriguing about solitude in a public space.

Sunny Saturday

I am feeling rather drained right now because I slept at 0450 this morning but I can’t seem to get back to sleep after my brother came into the room to wreck havoc. I thought I could sleep in till the sun sets. Then again, I remembered that I am suppose to meet faw for coffee and I have to mail out all my items today, by hook or by crook. All of them are pressing me already. It seriously sucks being a seller. I would very much prefer to be a buyer, 10 times over.

All for the sake of money.

To those who complained about my previous animation being gross, and faw even called me horny Molly. It might rhyme very nicely but that doesn’t mean Molly is horny. And well, I was just trying to amuse myself on a Friday night. Can’t help it if I am so freaking bored and chingay being a total bitch. Nette and I was so bloody pek chek because the roads were blocked when we were in town last night and everyone has to squeeze through that stuffy underpass. Just because it’s the chingay rehearsal. Omg what a bitch.

I know that I sounded bimbotic bitchy and whatever you say in the previous paragraph. So to redeem myself and to prove that I am absolutely brilliant, I shall post a little something that will make your brain juice churn.

Have you ever wondered why a slim chance and a fat chance means almost the same thing, whereas a slim man and fat man are just the exact opposites? And why is there no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

It’s so sad that the insurance was invalid for the invalid, then there was a row among the oarsmen about how to row, and the dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. And upon seeing the tear in the painting, I can’t help but shed a tear.

I guess it’s the lunacy of this language that makes it beautiful.

Red, red &more red

Chinese new year spells red, spells boredom, and spells crassy Chinese new year songs all over Sg. I never really liked Chinese new year (Ok, besides the angbaos and shopping for new year clothes part) because it’s Extremely boring with a capital E. I go visiting on foot, because the paternal and maternal side stays only 2 blocks away. And to make matters worse, it’s like a dead town when Chinese new year arrives. Almost everything is closed, even my favourite crystal jade.

However, I do understand that behind all these, Chinese new year is actually one of the rare moments where the so-called relatives and old friends get together and share some love. I know for sure that grandmere is one of the happiest person around during Chinese new year. Although she always complains about the noise all of us makes, the trouble we all bring, and the amount of cooking she has to do, I know that deep down inside her heart, she loves the company.

Perhaps I will only learn how to appreciate Chinese new year when I am old.